Located on the magnificent Keauhou Bay south of Kona, Kona Coast Resort has attracted guests for many years. In 1993 a friend had reserved his timeshare there for his son’s honeymoon. When his son cancelled his wedding, our friend offered the week to us. Enchanted by the island, we bought a one-bedroom timeshare on alternate years.

At first, we spent every day exploring the smorgasbord of differences found on the island. Our first year there, we flew in a biplane over the waterfalls along the east coast and into the still active Kilauea Volcano and west over the small village buried in lava. Cars in front of houses mired in lava looked like they only needed to be dug out. From white and also black sand beaches to lush valleys and tropical forests the Big Island has a little bit of everything plus a lot of lava.

As we grow older, our Kona Coast week has been our place to relax and let go of tension. We eat breakfast on our balcony overlooking the golf course. We share our cheerios with the birds who become less timid as the week progresses. We sit by the ocean and read our books at the nearby Sheraton Hotel waiting for Happy Hour when food and drinks are more affordable.

On our last day we took our books and went to the Sheraton at 3:30 to listen to the sea, feel its cool breeze, smell the fresh sea smell and watch the day come to a close. We had had another great week–a ranch hoedown, new friends, a beautiful dinner by the sea on the North Coast, taking in the excitement of the Iron Man race. We felt centered and ready to face the challenges waiting when we got home.

Ah….Hawaii where love comes naturally. Hawaiians love easily and well. We have just returned from a week at our timeshare at Kona on the big island of Hawaii. Even the maintenance and housekeeping people at our timeshare wave, smile and say “Aloha” to visitors. Tourists are not always highly regarded in other parts of the world! I can’t remember any other place where I feel so welcome everywhere we go.

One day we drove up the north coast of the Big Island stopping at the spectacular hotels along the way. At the Fairmont Orchid Hotel I was looking for a rest room as one of the employees walked by. I asked where it was. She laughed and said, “Look. You’re standing right by it.” She seemed happy to see me as if I were a long missed aunt or grandmother. She began to tell me a story about her own family. She told it so well she could have qualified for the Story Telling circuit at the Nevada County Old Schoolhouse. She seemed to enjoy the telling, laughing often. By the time she turned and went back to work I felt like I had known her for years and could give her a hug.

No wonder honeymooners and long-time lovers, like us, come here to celebrate love.

An invitation to the wedding of my cousin’s grandson arrived in late July. “Karen and Michael are getting married in Sonora, the heart of Gold Country,” I told my husband. “That will be a great August get-away. We can see family and explore the gold country towns of Angels Camp, Columbia, and Sonora. We can top it off by crossing the Sierras on Highway 108 the next day.” Highway 108 was the only California highway crossing the Sierras that we had not been on.

Columbia – Old Gold Town

What a wonderful weekend it turned out to be! The wedding at a country inn was fun. The couple even included their dog in the ceremony. After the minister pronounced the couple man and wife, they put their hands behind their backs and the minister handcuffed them together. They skipped out of the building. The dog didn’t want to wake up. He lumbered reluctantly out behind them. We had a good time visiting with family at the reception.

The dog slept through the ceremony.

The next morning we headed east across the Sierras on Highway 108. The highway climbed 10,000 feet before descending to Highway 395. Snow still covered the ground at higher elevations. Lush green with lots of swiftly flowing streams and even some waterfalls kept us exclaiming our appreciation. We imagined how gorgeous it must be in the fall when the quaking aspen show off their brilliance.

It was a great weekend exploring Columbia, an old mining town, Angel’s Camp where the frog jump has become world famous, and the interesting shops in the quaint towns along Highway 49. We can’t wait to go back some day with our granddaughters.

I spent a couple of eight hour time slots in the California Authors’ booth at the State Fair last week. Many happy couples walking hand in hand stopped by to chat. I knew by the way they looked at and talked to each other that they were soul mates even before they told me.

Seeing my book, “Becoming Soul Mates” inspired some couples to share. “We have been married 25 years, 46 years, 32 years”, always with a look at each other confirming a valued connection. Some of the couples claimed to have been soul mates from the beginning, but they all agreed it took work, commitment, and willingness to learn to keep the relationship evolving. One lady said sadly, “It’s too bad so many couples give up too soon. I wish they knew how good it gets if you hang in there and learn to understand and accept each other.”

One man said, “This is the second time around for both of us, but I think we’ve figured it out this time.” The look they gave each other made me believe he is right.

Our May get-away took us to our Tahoe timeshare at the top of the ridge dividing California from Nevada. We look down from our Ridge Tower more than 7,000 feet to the lush green Carson Valley. When the sun goes down lights from the towns of Minden and Gardnerville sparkle like a necklace of diamonds.

The Amgen bicycle race was scheduled to start at South Lake Tahoe on Sunday. It had been snowing all night and continued on the big race day. The first stage of the race was cancelled. It continued to snow through Wednesday. The trees bent with their loads of snow. The Christmas card beauty pushed us into compulsive picture taking. How many pictures from one balcony does one need?

We had our fireplace going keeping us snug, warm, and cozy as we read books and enjoyed being together. No pressure. Nothing that had to be done. The full moon peeked out from the clouds from time to time spotlighting the remarkable May winter wonderland.

It becomes increasingly clear that for long-term relationships to evolve into soul mate status both people in the relationship must invest time and energy. Date nights and get-aways provide opportunities for lovers to focus on and learn more about each other.

Use these together times to have fun and to let go of the stress and conflict of financial, work, parenting, and other problems. Tell each other your stories. Have playful sex. Explore new places. Meet new people. Try new things. Look for what you enjoy about your mate.

I had a choice Friday. I could go to my professional meeting of marriage family therapists or I could go for a beautiful spring drive with my soul mate to the Shenandoah Valley for lunch. Guess which I chose.

Our March get-away took us into a wonderland of glistening snow covered mountains, rivers rushing to keep up with the excess water, and trees trying not to break under their unusually heavy load of snow. It reminded me of traveling through British Columbia uttering unstoppable oh’s and ah’s.

Carson Valley, spotted with splashes of snow, stretched to meet us as we descended on the east side of the Sierras. The ecstatic squawking of mating geese filled the air. There must have been hundreds of geese happily settled with their mates in their marshland nests. We felt one with spring as we carried our suitcase into our time share apartment and focused our attention on each other for the next two days.

Always beautiful and romantic.

If you have never been to the north coast of California in winter, you are missing a real treat. On a rare sunshiny Sunday we headed to Sea Ranch for a two night get-away. We stopped in Sebastopol to have brunch at our favorite restaurant, The French Garden. Fresh green vegetables, honey, and farm eggs filled a small farmers’ market in the parking lot. The blue green ocean at Bodega Bay reminded me of the ocean at Hawaii. It sparkled, but it was as calm as a large lake.

Our room was ready when we arrived at the Sea Ranch Lodge. I opened the window, lay down on the window seat and let the sun bathe me in its warmth while the cool breeze blew softly over my face. What a wonderful place. No T.V. to watch the Oscars event. We watched the sun wiped out by an incoming storm as it was trying to escape on the horizon.

The next day it rained. We read books, talked, and cuddled. These are the things that help keep romance alive. Try it.