First Christmas in America

Christmas 1997 was like no other Christmas for the Anson family, because instead of numbering our usual five, that year we were six. Nozomu Ishimaru, a 16-year-old from Japan , had joined our family for a year. Everyone had been enthusiastic about his coming except Carla, our nine-year-old . She had reservations.

Nonbo (Nozomu’s nickname) participated in all our activities with wide-eyed interest. We made our Advent wreath with nuts, pine cones, and pine sprigs. The first Sunday in December Nonbo got caught up in the excitement of lighting the first candle in the beautiful wreath that now occupied the center of our kitchen table.

The six of us drove to the mountains where we tramped through the forest trying to choose the most appealing tree out of the hundreds growing there. We spent family nights making ornaments for our gorgeous tree. We transformed clothespins into soldiers, sailors, cooks, skiers, dancing girls, and angels. We strung cranberries and popcorn. Tiny lights sparkled from the tree limbs symbolizing the coming of the Light of the World. The children set up our Christmas barn, manger and hand-carved wooden figures of Joseph, Mary, the shepherds and the animals.

After Grandpa arrived on Christas Eve, we all went to church to sing carols and to hear the Christmas story. Then we gathered around the tree to put an end to the mystery of closed doors and whispered conspiracies as each colorful Christmas package was opened. Nonbo’s eyes sparkled like the tree lights as each of his thoughtful gifts was opened. He had made a desk organizer for me, a tool chest for Everett, a doll-house for Carla and a magician’s top hat for Eric. He and Carla had gone together to get Janee’ a hamster. Nonbo had built a cage for it.

In our family, after a gift is opened, the receiver runs to the giver and gives him a big hug and thank you. For Nonbo this was a very new experience. Carla’s hug was genuine. Christmas had melted whatever resistance she had felt toward Nonbo. He had become a member of our family.

Integrate Chores with Fun

Begin early to integrate chores with fun activities. “When you have your pajamas on and are all ready for bed, I will read you a story.” “When the table is set, I will put the dinner on.” “When you are dressed, you can watch TV.” “When your bed is straightened, we will get out the toys.” Be sure these tasks are not overwhelming. If toys are scattered throughout the child’s room, do not tell him when the toys are all put away you will read a story. The task is much too much for a little child to respond to favorably. It helps if you don’t allow things to get out of hand or too difficult to manage easily.

Giving your children too many toys is a disservice and will complicate the task of teaching them order and responsibility. For children as well as adults, a fundamental rule for organization and management of time and environment is simplicity. What your children do not have they do not have to feed, dust, hang, wash, stack, or put away. An abundance of toys is unmanageable and will prevent the child from carrying out the important task of taking care of the toys he has.

To see illustrations see Chapter 5 “How to Get Kids to Help at Home”.

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Bella Rose is ready to learn.

Ready to  Learn

A moral child is a cooperative child, not necessarily an obedient one. Often the best way to overcome resistance is to ask yourself what would make me feel co-operative if I were in my youngster’s shoes?

The same question can help you teach values and virtues. What do I live out and why? What do I work on throughout my life? Do I respect boundaries and property rights? How about self-control? Do I manage my anger? Do I get strung out on booze or pills? Am I totaly honest? Do I get mired in the past? Are my expectations realistic? Am I generous and understanding? Do I have coping skills? Am I empathetic and supportive? Am I responsible and dependable? How do I deal with stress? Do I work on listening skills. How kind and tolerant am I?

Parents and children struggle together to learn to apply these virtues. We support and forgive each other. We give each other the benefit of the doubt. We encourage and affirm. We build relationship through understanding.

See more on page 168, How to Get Kids to Help at Home.

Making Emily feel Important

Know What is Age Appropriate

As children grow, they go through stages in which they alternate from being happy and easygoing to being emotional and difficult to get along with. Five-year-olds are easygoing and content to have their fathers and mothers at the center of their lives. At around the age of six parents find their children changing and becoming less easy to get along with.

The six-year-old wants to be the center of his world, even though he has not developed a strong sense of self. This stage is similar to the two-year-old. The child tends to be negative in response to others, does not adapt well, and tends to be demanding.

Six-year-olds have difficulty making choices. They want it all. They have a lot of energy and feel ready for almost anything. They want to win, to experience new things. When things go well they can be warm and enthusiastic. When things go badly, there are tears and tantrums. They respond better to Father than Mother so having Father involved with chore planning and follow-through will work better than having Mother in charge.

(from “How to Get Kids to Help at Home” chapter 6)

Additional advice to fathers: Never tell your children to “help Mother “. This house is the home for the whole family and everyone has an interest in and responsibility for its care.

Last Post

So my dearest Geramie Ervin, this leg of your military journey finally comes to an end after a lonnnnng 13 weeks with your graduation on Friday and your earning the title of becoming one of the few and the proud, a U.S. Marine!!! I have seen your transformation through your letters. When I saw the Platoon video released last week I was speechless. You look so mature and exactly like what you were working towards. You look like a lean, mean Marine!

I cannot imagine what you have endured, but I bet you cannot imagine what your brother, Jordan Ervin and I have endured with your absence! The FB group I found and joined has been a godsend, invaluable for me, since we were all experiencing our “boys” in Delta Company going through boot camp. The group has been a wonderful source of support. Speaking of support, the encouragement you gave your brother in letters was priceless and could have very possibly been the difference in him passing his EMT class, because he did like you and did “whatever it takes” as you told him to do.

Last week when you began the Crucible I could not go to sleep Tuesday morning until I was able to light the candle at 2 a.m., hang the flag, turn the porch light on, and pray for the success of all in Delta Company. It seemed an almost endless 54 hours, but in your words, you and your Delta Co. brothers “killed” the “Crucible and are now Marines, OOH RAH!!!!

I was overjoyed to see that Delta Co. was able to attend the Padres game yesterday and some of the moms in the FB group were able to attend and take pictures and videos. I was able to see you for the first time in uniform. It soothed my soul. I so loved how the scoreboard giving props to Delta Co. 1st Battalion Marines and Dts. When “God Bless America” was sung, so many fans looked toward tne new Marines, Delta Co., and were grateful for the path you chose in becoming a Marine. The looks on your faces was priceless during the song. You could see the pride during what seemed to be that “exhaling” moment when you all seemed to feel for the first time that 13 week struggle you just endured was over, your title earned. You were out in public in uniform for the first time as U.S. Marines.

Family Day on Thursday and graduation Friday cannot get here soon enough for me. I am packing tonight and preparing the house for your welcome back home. You set out a goal extremely difficult and very noble. You did not allow anything to stop you even when things were tough and broke you down. You NEVER gave up. As you stated in several of your letters, “I will persevere”, and indeed you did, my son. Our family and your friends are so proud of you, but none prouder than Jordan Ervin and I…We cannot wait to see you Thursday!!

I am finally a Marine Mom and so proud to be, but even more proud of YOU.

I love you Geramie… See you in 3 days!!!!

Mom — feeling excited

I am now a Marine Mom

The boot camp journey has come to an end.

Proud U.S. Marine

Now a Marine Mom!

It was so fortunate that there was a Padres game today, the Sunday after the Crucible, so Delta Company could attend. There is a special section just for the military. A few moms that live down San Diego way went to the game and were able to take pictures and videos. When “God Bless America” was sung, and our boys were in uniform and feeling honored for the first time as Marines, the look on their faces was priceless. It was nice to see them out and about in uniform for the first time in public, and finally able to “exhale” after nearly 13 weeks of being yelled at, testing, and struggling to earn the title of the few and the proud. Four more days until Family Day and Friday is finally graduation….I can’t wait to hug my Marine son! OOh Rah Platoon 1062!!!

So proud of you, Ger, so glad that you had fun and got some “real food” and soda.

I love you so much, Geramie Ervin…can’t wait to see you in 4 days! — feeling fabulous.

Postscript

I was happy to find that you were the Layreader and led your platoon in prayer from Day 1. How wonderful to find out that you relied upon your faith to help get you through those dark times in boot camp. Perhaps you helped to ease the minds and lift the souls of your fellow Delta Company brothers as well.

May God continue to bless you, Geramie, and wherever your military career takes you, my son, never forget that God is ALWAYS there. I cannot wait to see you and get that big bear hug tha makes me feel so “leetle” in your arms. It’s been so long, but for what you have accomlished, it is worth the wait.

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH, GERAMIE. I AM SO PROUD TO FINALLY BE A MARINE MOM!!!

So…..I guess I can finally order my Marine Mom license plate frame now?!!LOL

Can’t wait to see you in 7 days!

Love, Mom — feeling thankful.

Today my son earned the title of U. S. Marine. This is not a diary entry, but an emotional day and this is what I wrote on Geramie’s wall.

My dearest son, Geramie Ervin, I have waited for this day to come for 80 days. I cannot even begin to express the pride I feel for you at this moment. I cannot imagine all that you have endured since May 12th, but you persevered and today earned the title of belonging to that elite group, the U. S. Marines! Ooh Rah!

You have shown many that when you want something bad enough, are will to work for, sacrifice, and struggle, it is obtainable. Your grandpa would be so proud of you. I’m sure he’s looking down at his “Big Grandson” and beaming with love and pride at what you have accomplished and become, just as the rest of the family and your friends are.

The 54 hours of the Crucible seemed to last forever, but your brother, Jordan Ervin was there for me always. I am so proud of you both right  now. My heart is overflowing with joy and happiness as in my poem “Crown Jewels”:

“I know without a doubt,

that no sacrifice,

no struggle

no amount of money,

was ever too great.

My babies are now men,

but will always be the two jewels in my crown,

forever giving me wealth unimaganable,

because they are priceless.”

You Did It!!!

Finally those long 54 hours have passed since the Crucible began at 2 a.m. Tuesday. Congratulations, my son for you, Geramie Ervin, are now one of the few and the proud, a U. S. Marine!!

I am so proud of you – so very proud to be a Marine Mom. Your brother, Jordan Ervin just can’t be any prouder of his big brother right now! The rest of the family’s pride for you has no bounds.

We love you, Geramie Ervin!

You  did it!!!

Ooooooh Raaaaaah!