Do you ever wonder if the electronic age has helped or hurt families? When I see families in restaurants and the mother, father, and each youngster has an electronic device in his/her hand, I wonder if they miss opportunities to talk to each other. I am often asked if I think children are losing communication skills. A loving caring family can be the foundation for developing healthy self-love, confidence, and courage in a frightening, immoral, and Godless world.

One morning at Wally’s timeshare  in Carson Valley, Nevada, Everett and I met an eighty-one year old man in a hot pool. His eyes sparkled as he told us a story about his immigrant parents who came to the United States early in the twentieth century. They bought a piece of land on an isolated hilltop in Colorado and built a cabin there. They worked hard to support themselves and their four children.  He finished his story by saying, “I think of my mother and father every day. They give me the courage to hang on in spite of injuries I have suffered while working as a truck driver. My mother gave me a strong faith in God. I learned to be financially responsible and to save a little for retirement while supporting a wife and four children.

The blessings go both ways. If you prioritize your family and your faith, they will probably continue to admire and respect you when you are old. This truck driver bought a large comfortable car and took his Mother and one of her friends back to the hill in Colorado where the old homestead had been built. He said she was excited as she shared memories of those early days. His own face lit up as he remembered how perfect his gift to his mother had been. I wonder if he would have created this dream trip if he and his parents had been lost in their electronic devices instead of interacting with each other when the children were growing up.

My father believed in authoritarian parenting. Respect and obedience topped his list of values. My husband believes in democratic parenting with parents having ten votes! I believe in teaching children to manage their own behavior in age appropriate ways. That means children need to be heard and emotions recognized. I have always believed my father tried to micro-manage my behavior, thoughts, and emotions. “Get that look off your face” was a part of my training. I am coming to realize I owe a lot to my father even though I don’t approve of his style of parenting. His constant reminder, “Stand up straight. Pull those shoulders back” became a permanent recording in my head. He corrected my grammar even when I prayed aloud. He taught me to love God, manage money, love books, do my best, be kind, memorize scripture, always tell the truth. I never questioned my father’s love. He never withheld hugs and kisses. Papa didn’t say one thing and do another. He stood up straight, put his shoulders back, treated people kindly, gave generously to anyone in need, practiced speaking with good grammar, never swore, loved his parents and siblings, played games with us. He did what he expected us to do. It can be hard to successfully complete the developmental task of becoming independent from strong controlling good parents. It takes time to find the confidence in your own ability to run your life well. After you accomplish that task, you can begin to understand the many things your parents taught you. I thank my father every day for good posture and the many important things I learned from him. I wish I could tell him.