During the past few weeks I have listened to three women who complained to their husbands that they hated to be grabbed by their breasts or their bottoms in a sexual way especially when they were doing something non-sexual like getting something out of the cupboard. In all three cases the guy didn’t get it. One said his wife had no sense of humor. Another said, “She just doesn’t understand. It’s a guy thing.” The other one said, “I can’t do anything right. She complains that I don’t give her attention. Then when I do, she gets mad at how I do it.”
Gender differences are huge, but if you listen to your partner you will gradually learn what it is like to be a woman if you are a man or to be a man if you are a woman. That is how you learn to be a lover. Open up to understanding by listening. That is the key.