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Being There for Your Partner

Posted by Elva 
· May 28, 2010 

There is a chapter in “Fighting for Your Marriage” titled “Being There”. The suggestions sound like common sense ways to support our partners, but often we overlook the obvious.

For example, when I see Everett struggling with something I might blurt out, “What’s wrong?” His response, “Nothing.” How much better to offer to talk. “Would you like to talk?” When you do that you listen supportively.

The book suggests:
Focus on your partner
Pay attention, do not multitask
Touch your partner while listening
Let your partner know you are listening
Do not interrupt
Make your partner feel understood

I would add that you can make him/her feel understood through reflective listening. Do not give your partner solutions or advice or tell him/her what went wrong. Trust him/her to work out solutions to his/her own problem. Support that. You will find more about how to do reflective listening in my book, “Becoming Soul Mates”.

Categories : Soul Mates
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