The Sacramento Bee recently asked Brenda Novak, romance writer, for some ideas on how to make love last. She gave eleven suggestions. Number one: “Avoid negative thought patterns.” Some men and women get attention and strokes by being victim. These men will joke in negative ways about their partners with their friends. They talk about their partner’s “bitching” about everything. Women complain to friends about always having to plan things to do or that their partner doesn’t do his share. She always has to do everything.
It is difficult to live with a negative partner. It is hard enough for anyone to practice focusing on what is going right, but when you live with someone focused on what is wrong it makes it even more difficult. So take Brenda’s number one suggestion seriously.