“Building a Reality-Based Relationship” is the title of a book by long time marriage family therapist, Liberty Kovacs,PHD. Dr. Kovacs realized people must want to understand each other if they hope to have a successful marriage.
I highly recommend Dr. Kovacs’ book which is crammed with short exercises to help you get to know each other. By the time you become adults you have formed perceptions about money, affection, sexuality, power, household chores, and much more. Where and how did you get those perceptions? What values do you have?
Relationship provides an opportunity to understand the journey to individuation and knowing ourselves and others. That makes the effort more appealing and worth hanging in there. You cannot become soul mates without it.