Are you wistfully wishing for more intimacy with your special person? You cannot have intimacy without individuality. The closeness comes out of an open sharing of who you are. Known and being known with unconditional acceptance brings intimacy. If either of you pushes the other to be anything other than who you are, intimacy stays out of reach. Encouragement is helpful. Pushing for change or criticism is not.
The big struggle of identifying and knowing what makes us unique and different from each other may not feel like intimacy. Welcome conflict as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the other person. Recognize your tendencies toward a judgmental attitude rather than an opportunity to learn.
You are two very different people engaged in learning the skill of focusing on each other’s strengths. You also begin to recognize each other’s driving spirit. You share fears, fantasies, moods, memories, longings, passions, hopes, and let-downs. This knowledge brings you to a new level of knowing and understanding and supporting love and growth.
Intimacy creates a powerful nurturing source to fuel the joy of relationship and the ability to manage our lives well. Love can do what money can’t do. Love God. Love life. Love yourself and love each other. Welcome each day as a chance to learn to love more. If you and your mate can stay focused on strengths, intimacy will follow. By the time you have been together as long as we have, you will adore each other.