Marriage does not mean looking after the ashes, it means beginning the process of keeping the flame alive and growing. You do that by staying OPEN TO LEARNING. Go to Marriage Encounter, couples marriage workshops and classes. Read books and blogs like this on relationship. Find friends who value relationship and learn from them. Have fun together. Some states, including California, have a group called Healthy Marriages which offers classes on relationship.
MOST IMPORTANT! Never stop learning more about each other. What was it like growing up in his/her family? What does your lover like and dislike? What are the triggers, passions, interests? What are the fears, perceptions, attitudes, feelings? So much to learn about each other and only one lifetime in which to do it!