In last week’s post I quoted Aldous Huxley who said, “You learn to love by loving.” Today I want to expand on that. In his book, “The Little Prince” Antoine de Saint Exupery gives his readers a beautiful illustration of how love develops. The story is about a little prince who comes to the earth from another world and meets a fox in the desert. The point of the story is he couldn’t care about the fox until he tamed him and spent time with him. The fox’s secret was, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Perhaps soul mate relationships elude some couples because they pick partners with their eyes and not with their hearts. They may be unconsciously looking for sex partners so the looking never stops Some one else looks better the next month or year. They “fall in and out of love” regularly. I do not believe people actually “fall in and out of love”. People choose to love and they choose to no longer love. It is a matter of seeing with the heart, not with the eyes.
If couples marry only because of looks and sex, their relationship is always at risk. No wonder people in such relationships fear aging and can’t enjoy and grow through the best decades of their lives. There is no hope of becoming soul mates if the only connection is great sex.