Menu
  • Home
  • About
    • About Elva Anson
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Close
  • Our Books
    • Wondering Around God
    • Becoming Soul Mates
    • How to Get Kids to Help at Home
    • Teddy: Out of the Hidden Valley
    • The 3rd Party
    • Close
  • Elva’s Blogs
    • Parenting – Most people don’t become parents blessed with parenting skills. Parenting skills must be learned.
    • Soul Mates – Focus on yourself and what you can learn and do to create the relationship you desire. Get help here!
    • Get Aways – Get-Aways provide the freedom and opportunity to know each other better.
    • Wondering Around God – How do you relate to Elva’s fascinating story? Where are you in life and how much importance do you give to being open to nurturing your spiritual side? Hopefully, this blog will encourage sharing.
    • Close

Primary Communication Skill

Posted by Elva 
· March 13, 2014 

Own Your Feelings

I grew up with the message “you shouldn’t feel that way.” Don’t be angry, sad, disappointed, moody, unhappy. Be nice or God and people won’t like you. Smile, smile, smile. My father who was a kind loving man would never admit being angry. He raised his voice in what he called “righteous indignation” over politics, bad driving, and people being treated unfairly,

To avoid “not talking back” I would try to leave the room. My Dad would say, “Get that look off your face. Don’t leave this room. I want to see a smile.” Have you ever tried to smile when you were very angry? It feels like you will explode.

It has taken years for me to learn to identify, accept, and own my feelings, the first step to managing those feelings. Ask yourself what is going on for me? What am I feeling? Why am I so angry, sad, scared, annoyed, embarrassed? For good communication you must identify and own the feeling. Then you can tell your partner, “I am angry.” Don’t say, “You make me so angry!” Don’t try to explain why you are angry until you can figure it out. Then go back to your partner and talk without blame.

Respect each other’s feelings. Emotions are a part of each person’s private self. No one has the power to manufacture emotions. When you ask someone to give up ownership of his personal internal experiences, he can only pretend or repress. No relationship can become a soul mate relationship if one of the partners cannot accept the other without needing him/her to change.

Categories : Soul Mates
Previous Post →
← Next Post

Your Shopping Cart

Your Cart is Empty

7.75% CA Sales tax will be added to the Subtotal at checkout, after you have entered your credit card info or logged into your PayPal account.

Speaking Engagements

Elva Anson is available to speak at your next event!

She can talk on wide range of topics including relationships, communications, parenting and many others. Click here to see a complete list.


Please enter the security code:
security code
Security Code:
Please enter the captcha verification code.

Submit
Family First Books
Copyright © 2023 All Rights Reserved