Quite often marriages end because one partner reaches a point where he/she feels lost and says, “I need space to have an opportunity to find myself.” This can be devastating. In all of the six stages of relationship Dr. Libby Kovaks describes in her book, you will struggle with understanding who you are. In the honeymoon stage you naturally feel enmeshed and separateness can feel frightening.
As you go on with life you find yourself challenged by new roles: mate, parent, son or daughter, boss, employee, student, teacher, speaker, leader, best friend, writer, athlete, expert, retiree. You get the idea. Who you are is dynamic, ever changing and sometimes confusing. Just when you think you know who you are, it no longer fits.
Then perhaps your parents age or die. Your children leave home and you feel lost and uncertain. What if you made wrong choices? Maybe you’ve missed out on something. All of the old resentments become persistent. You end your marriage or relationship in search of what you’ve missed or lost.
IS IT ANY WONDER SO FEW RELATIONSHIPS BECOME SOUL MATE RELATIONSHIPS?