I keep going back to understanding and acceptance, because that is the goal of being soul mates. You cannot be soul mates without it. It requires conscious and intentional openness to understanding. This, of course, presents a constant challenge.
A good example of that challenge is the way we accept the telling of shared stories. That was hard for me. Most of the time who is right and who is wrong has little to do with acceptance of the story. It doesn’t matter whose story is closest to what actually happened. How our partner experienced and remembers a shared event gives us more information about who he/she is. Open up to that and enjoy who that person is.