Menu
  • Home
  • About
    • About Elva Anson
    • Speaking Engagements
    • Close
  • Our Books
    • Wondering Around God
    • Becoming Soul Mates
    • How to Get Kids to Help at Home
    • Teddy: Out of the Hidden Valley
    • The 3rd Party
    • Close
  • Elva’s Blogs
    • Parenting – Most people don’t become parents blessed with parenting skills. Parenting skills must be learned.
    • Soul Mates – Focus on yourself and what you can learn and do to create the relationship you desire. Get help here!
    • Get Aways – Get-Aways provide the freedom and opportunity to know each other better.
    • Wondering Around God – How do you relate to Elva’s fascinating story? Where are you in life and how much importance do you give to being open to nurturing your spiritual side? Hopefully, this blog will encourage sharing.
    • Close

Understanding Love–Key to Good Relationships

Posted by Elva 
· September 24, 2011 

Couples impact each other at a neuro-psychological level. They do an emotional dance with each other. I believe the underlying cause of disconnection comes from expectations that there has to be a right and wrong. If I am feeling unloved and unimportant to my mate, it must be his fault. Then I ask in an accusing tone, “Do you love me?”

When he feels blamed, he becomes defensive, “Of course, I do. What’s the matter with you?” It goes downhill from there. People don’t understand love, emotions, needs. They don’t understand how they trigger primal fear in each other. Everyone needs to examine themselves. How do you protect yourself in relationships? Do you withdraw, freeze up, avoid, building resentment? Do you pursue, yell, blame?

Be willing to tune in, open up, share fears and needs. Be aware of your own early experiences with attachments. Avoid blame and take responsibility for your part in this dance. Stay accessible. Forgive if necessary. Provide safety to each other. Touch. Comfort. Reassure. Be patient, kind, non-judgmental. This is the key to love and feeling loved.

Categories : Soul Mates
Previous Post →
← Next Post

Your Shopping Cart

Your Cart is Empty

7.75% CA Sales tax will be added to the Subtotal at checkout, after you have entered your credit card info or logged into your PayPal account.

Speaking Engagements

Elva Anson is available to speak at your next event!

She can talk on wide range of topics including relationships, communications, parenting and many others. Click here to see a complete list.


Please enter the security code:
security code
Security Code:
Please enter the captcha verification code.

Submit
Family First Books
Copyright © 2023 All Rights Reserved